What is it about Halloween that can bring out the kid in us? Maybe we love the autumn air and pumpkin spice everything, or we get a thrill from being scared, or we have a fascination with the macabre… Halloween can be a lot of things for a lot of different people, but for me what I find truly fascinating is how Halloween can remind us to use something that gets dusty in adulthood, our imagination. How our role models help validate our sense of selves, give us confidence, and allow us to “try on” character traits that perhaps feel far away or off limits to us (looking at you cisgender dudes who go as a woman for Halloween. It’s cool, embrace your feminine side, even for a night:) How powerful both representation and imagination can be.
In fourth grade my Halloween costume was epic. It was a year that my mom stopped picking out my costumes for me (she hand sewed those costumes, no complaints) but before I succumbed to what girls are supposed to dress up as for Halloween in order to be “cool”. In fourth grade, I dressed up as Indiana Jones.
To be more accurate, I created an alter ego named D.J. Jones, Indiana Jones’s sister. She went on just as many harrowing adventures, and had the same hat, jacket and whip. (Can you believe my elementary school let me bring a whip to school?! Ah, the early 90’s). The Indiana Jones movies were my favorites, and I would practice my stunt choreography by jumping on the couch and punching the air when the fight scenes came on. The women in those movies were all lame. (Marian from Raiders is kinda cool as an adult, but she still needed to get rescued all the time). I didn’t want to be the damsel in distress, I wanted the action! The cool wardrobe that was both badass and functional! I wanted to swing on bridges and hike through jungles and solve ancient mysteries and discover treasure. But at that time I didn’t see a female character doing that, so D.J. Jones was created.
Gradually I discovered other female action characters. I had a strong kinship with Xena: Warrior Princess and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Geena Davis was, and still is, a hero of mine. She wasn’t like other actresses. She blew up a misogynist asshole’s truck and robbed a bank in Thelma and Louise. In other roles she was a baseball star and an assassin and a pirate. More recently, she started the Geena Davis Institute, which studies and advocates for equity and diversity on and behind the screen. Their tagline is “If they can see it, they can be it”.
I was in my thirties before first seeing a female superhero in her own movie, and was transfixed watching Wonder Woman on the big screen. I cried when the music intensified and she crossed into No Man’s Land alone when she was told not to, battling the enemy, leading her army, saving civilians, and coming into her own power. I felt similarly years later watching Viola Davis lead her army of female warriors in The Woman King, and felt a small sense of relief for the African American girls who would grow up with this role model.
Perhaps this all started when I saw the terrible Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie in the theater? Afterwards I ran around my house throwing shish kabob sticks at furniture, pretending I was staking vampires. Now I was an idiosyncratic child, however I don’t think I would have tried that until I saw that it was an option. Not so much the “killing vampires” part, I’m aware that they are probably fictional;) But the “being a hero” part. I wanted not to be the girl that was saved, but to be the girl that saved the day. And I didn’t know it was an option until I saw it.
Now, I say all of this as a white, cisgender, straight, able bodied, average build, middle class suburban woman. So while I was having trouble finding the women I wanted to emulate on the big screen, imagine being a person of color, a trans or queer or gender expansive person, a person with a disability, a person who is fat, a person living in poverty or with incarcerated family members or with a mental health condition. These groups were barely represented in the media when I was growing up, and if they were it often wasn’t favorable. So while these groups had actual real life role models they could draw from, what did they do when they wanted to see something new? They imagined.
What if there was a super badass Black superhero with a female General and army who fought to defend their technologically advanced, rich-in-resources, homeland? (Blank Panther, obviously)
What if there was a deaf surgeon in this medical series? (New Amsterdam)
What if Muslim women joined up and started a punk band? (Shout out to you, We are Lady Parts!)
And so, so much more…
Imagination and representation seem to be two sides of the same coin. Like Xena and her circle boomerang weapon thingy, or Buffy and her stakes. Separately they are still cool and can do a lot, but put them together and they become something new. Possibly something unstoppable.
So how does this relate to the other 364 days that aren’t Halloween? Are we even still talking about superheroes, or is this really about something else? You caught me! This is about superheroes and living our daily lives in a full and authentic way and celebrating community, diversity and inclusion.
Practices-
Look at your life. How does it feel for you? I bet you know pretty clearly what isn’t working and what doesn't feel good. How can you look at other people in your life not as competitors but as role models, who’s got it figured out? Who or what represents a life of peace or adventure or balance, whatever you are striving for?
If you let your imagination run wild, what would it start to construct for you? Maybe it's saying “get a new job” or “I need help” or “I miss this part of myself”. Use what is around you and what yet isn’t around you to lead you down a new path. Give yourself time and rest to let your mind wander.
Who are you not seeing around you? If you are going through menopause, or have lost a loved one, or are exploring your sexuality, or are coping with a chronic illness, who do you connect with who has also had a similar experience? Who are your children connecting with, who are their role models, and who are absent? And what does the absence of diverse role models, whether or not your child identifies with their race or sexuality or gender or body type or religion, rob from your child? They aren’t always easy to find but these role models are out there or are being created as we speak. And if they aren’t out there, maybe your kid will create the role model that speaks to so many other kids!
Be intentional. Be strong. Be imaginative. Be brave.
Just like Diana Prince or Nanisca or D.J. Jones.
Happy Halloween.
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